The other night, a part of my dream involved discovering Hope Deen was pregnant. Now, I'm not sure if the Juno comparisons influenced that, but it was hilarious either way. There was this older woman condemning her for it. Apparently, this was Hope's second pregnancy, and she had an abortion the first time around (and somebody mentioned it within earshot of the woman). This appalled the old lady. Now, Hope is obviously a very non-confrontational, shy person. So it came as quite a shock when she shot back, "That's right. I got an abortion." (Except, she pronounced it "abarshin" to further infuriate the woman.) The woman was stunned by her crass attitude. But I woke up, because it was all a dream.
I remembered it a few days later, though, and got quite the chuckle out of it.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Flying
Any time I get to fly in my dreams, I love it. It's the best. So when I do fly in my dreams, I get overly excited about it.
The other night in my dream, a siege was ending or beginning for a city (I don't really remember and definitely don't care), and "they" (good guys this time) were looking for a group of criminals posing as guards or something. Well, from my bird's-eye view (though not flying yet) I spotted them, and was assigned to check out "the green house." It was glowing in a way that would have seemed odd, ordinarily. But this was a dream.
Anyway, I approached the house and walked in (as I was told) to find a man pointing a shotgun at me. After a brief and mild altercation, I submitted and backed out the door. However, he was still bent on increasing the amount of lead in my body, so I took off... literally. I flew away (though this didn't seem to surprise the armed man), but he took a shot at me. Deciding to play dead, I flopped to the ground. When he radioed that he had hit me, I took off again, dodging his BB's of protest. From then on I simply flew, wary that he might follow.
At some point during my flight over wonderful landscapes, I realized that I was dreaming. There's something spectacularly freeing about being aware of your unconscious state and having not a care in the world.
That's it. I just really like flying is all.
The other night in my dream, a siege was ending or beginning for a city (I don't really remember and definitely don't care), and "they" (good guys this time) were looking for a group of criminals posing as guards or something. Well, from my bird's-eye view (though not flying yet) I spotted them, and was assigned to check out "the green house." It was glowing in a way that would have seemed odd, ordinarily. But this was a dream.
Anyway, I approached the house and walked in (as I was told) to find a man pointing a shotgun at me. After a brief and mild altercation, I submitted and backed out the door. However, he was still bent on increasing the amount of lead in my body, so I took off... literally. I flew away (though this didn't seem to surprise the armed man), but he took a shot at me. Deciding to play dead, I flopped to the ground. When he radioed that he had hit me, I took off again, dodging his BB's of protest. From then on I simply flew, wary that he might follow.
At some point during my flight over wonderful landscapes, I realized that I was dreaming. There's something spectacularly freeing about being aware of your unconscious state and having not a care in the world.
That's it. I just really like flying is all.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Superman and Stuff...
Dream Chain #1
I forgot most of this one, but what I remember goes like this. I was with some people in an art gallery (or a dream's version of an art gallery, which is basically a bunch of marker doodles on the wall), and for some reason they got pissed off and started drawing faces on the "art" in red marker. This didn't sit well with me, but that didn't matter, because Mike Davis said that "they" (it's always "they," isn't it?) had said that his parents--as well as the rest of the missing--weren't in the building, which meant they were actually dead.
I knew on a hunch that that was total crap, so I told Mike to follow me to a room that I hadn't seen before, yet had definitely seen before (in a dream logic paradox) and knew contained the secret to the missing people. I also knew (somehow) that there wouldn't be any security in the room at that time of day. So we rushed into the room, which had three dog cage-like cells and walls painted in vibrant lime green and purple. I entered a cage--and so did Mike--and closed the caged door, turning the lock in various ways. Then, I turned around and flushed the toilet (which was there, all of a sudden). This opened a trap door under me.
I fell through the trap door and into a room that had a bunch of strange metal tower things standing in three feet of an oozy, green liquid. Everyone knows oozy, green liquids are bad, so I climbed on top of one of the towers, looking to find "them." Meanwhile, one of the leaders of "them" (I think there were three of them) had his/her/its henchmen shoot at me with bows and arrows. I jumped from tower to tower, narrowly avoiding the arrows. Eventually, they ran out. It gets fuzzy here, but I remember that I somehow took out the leader.
The next thing remember is being in something like a Chuck E. Cheese play structure looking for the third leader (I had taken out the second, apparently). I was near the bottom when I was attacked by something, but I couldn't see much. I think he was hiding behind one of the structure's fabric walls. At that point I starting punching aimlessly with my boxing glove (that hitched a ride on my fist without my knowledge). Though my punches were aimless, I made plenty of connections. So many, in fact, that when I finally saw him I saw that I had cut him. That's when an announcer relayed that I had "won." I was not confused, oddly enough.
Also, at one point I was assigned to drive a VW Beetle/Dune Buggy hybrid.
---------------------------------------------------
Take a coffee break or something. I'm long-winded and not finished. You may as well watch this video during your break. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9Zls2AReVI
---------------------------------------------------
Dream Chain #2
This flows quite a bit less than the last one. I was in a firefight (both in a video game and real life), and we were fighting this gremlin thing. I had a shotgun and was firing away as I watched it kill my teammate. Unfortunately, my aim was about as good as my German, so I missed it. Just before it reached me, I got a solid shot into it. That's when I remembered that the gremlin thing gets stronger with each person it kills. So it killed me. But it was only a game, so no big deal.
Rough transition, and now I'm watching an epic battle take place between two warriors, two wizards, and two other characters that we all knew didn't really matter. (Who's we? No idea. Dreams are like that.) They were fighting on this odd rock formation. I didn't see where the two warriors were fighting, but the two Nobodies were fighting at the bottom in a cave. The two wizards, however, were duking it out party game style. It was a contest to see who could get the most charge into the Jack-O-Lantern shaped rock formation in one shot in a certain amount of time. The other would die. Resume the game, and I'm the good wizard, viciously rubbing a rock to get more charge into my attack. It's messed up, I know. But I finally managed to get a "score" he would never beat.
Another rough transition, and I suddenly realized I was Superman. Except, I was dressed in a pumpkin jack-o-lantern costume. Rather than to stop and question why in the name of all that is good I was wearing such an outfit, I decided to go for a flight. I took off and gained a little altitude, when either a voice or text informed me "I am not amused." All of a sudden, I was no longer wearing my pumpkin suit. But I wasn't naked, at least. With not a care in the world, I resumed my flight.
This is where it gets cool. Once I realized I was Superman, I took the only logical course of action: fly into space. I rocketed upward until I broke through the atmosphere, stratosphere, whateversphere, and left the pull of Earth's gravity. While my weightless drifting was exhilarating, it also freaked me out slightly. So I launched myself back into Earth's atmosphere, plummeting downward at an adrenaline-stimulating pace. I saw the ground rush up to meet me and stopped when I was about twenty feet off the ground.
Something in my head told me I was in Japan. That makes sense, right? Well, I know now that Japan LOVES Superman. There was memorabilia everywhere, if you could call it that. I flew over a number of structures and murals dedicated to him/me.
I vaguely remember chasing some villain through some trees, as well as losing my ability to fly, but that's a little fuzzy. I'm just psyched I could fly for a change.
I forgot most of this one, but what I remember goes like this. I was with some people in an art gallery (or a dream's version of an art gallery, which is basically a bunch of marker doodles on the wall), and for some reason they got pissed off and started drawing faces on the "art" in red marker. This didn't sit well with me, but that didn't matter, because Mike Davis said that "they" (it's always "they," isn't it?) had said that his parents--as well as the rest of the missing--weren't in the building, which meant they were actually dead.
I knew on a hunch that that was total crap, so I told Mike to follow me to a room that I hadn't seen before, yet had definitely seen before (in a dream logic paradox) and knew contained the secret to the missing people. I also knew (somehow) that there wouldn't be any security in the room at that time of day. So we rushed into the room, which had three dog cage-like cells and walls painted in vibrant lime green and purple. I entered a cage--and so did Mike--and closed the caged door, turning the lock in various ways. Then, I turned around and flushed the toilet (which was there, all of a sudden). This opened a trap door under me.
I fell through the trap door and into a room that had a bunch of strange metal tower things standing in three feet of an oozy, green liquid. Everyone knows oozy, green liquids are bad, so I climbed on top of one of the towers, looking to find "them." Meanwhile, one of the leaders of "them" (I think there were three of them) had his/her/its henchmen shoot at me with bows and arrows. I jumped from tower to tower, narrowly avoiding the arrows. Eventually, they ran out. It gets fuzzy here, but I remember that I somehow took out the leader.
The next thing remember is being in something like a Chuck E. Cheese play structure looking for the third leader (I had taken out the second, apparently). I was near the bottom when I was attacked by something, but I couldn't see much. I think he was hiding behind one of the structure's fabric walls. At that point I starting punching aimlessly with my boxing glove (that hitched a ride on my fist without my knowledge). Though my punches were aimless, I made plenty of connections. So many, in fact, that when I finally saw him I saw that I had cut him. That's when an announcer relayed that I had "won." I was not confused, oddly enough.
Also, at one point I was assigned to drive a VW Beetle/Dune Buggy hybrid.
---------------------------------------------------
Take a coffee break or something. I'm long-winded and not finished. You may as well watch this video during your break. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9Zls2AReVI
---------------------------------------------------
Dream Chain #2
This flows quite a bit less than the last one. I was in a firefight (both in a video game and real life), and we were fighting this gremlin thing. I had a shotgun and was firing away as I watched it kill my teammate. Unfortunately, my aim was about as good as my German, so I missed it. Just before it reached me, I got a solid shot into it. That's when I remembered that the gremlin thing gets stronger with each person it kills. So it killed me. But it was only a game, so no big deal.
Rough transition, and now I'm watching an epic battle take place between two warriors, two wizards, and two other characters that we all knew didn't really matter. (Who's we? No idea. Dreams are like that.) They were fighting on this odd rock formation. I didn't see where the two warriors were fighting, but the two Nobodies were fighting at the bottom in a cave. The two wizards, however, were duking it out party game style. It was a contest to see who could get the most charge into the Jack-O-Lantern shaped rock formation in one shot in a certain amount of time. The other would die. Resume the game, and I'm the good wizard, viciously rubbing a rock to get more charge into my attack. It's messed up, I know. But I finally managed to get a "score" he would never beat.
Another rough transition, and I suddenly realized I was Superman. Except, I was dressed in a pumpkin jack-o-lantern costume. Rather than to stop and question why in the name of all that is good I was wearing such an outfit, I decided to go for a flight. I took off and gained a little altitude, when either a voice or text informed me "I am not amused." All of a sudden, I was no longer wearing my pumpkin suit. But I wasn't naked, at least. With not a care in the world, I resumed my flight.
This is where it gets cool. Once I realized I was Superman, I took the only logical course of action: fly into space. I rocketed upward until I broke through the atmosphere, stratosphere, whateversphere, and left the pull of Earth's gravity. While my weightless drifting was exhilarating, it also freaked me out slightly. So I launched myself back into Earth's atmosphere, plummeting downward at an adrenaline-stimulating pace. I saw the ground rush up to meet me and stopped when I was about twenty feet off the ground.
Something in my head told me I was in Japan. That makes sense, right? Well, I know now that Japan LOVES Superman. There was memorabilia everywhere, if you could call it that. I flew over a number of structures and murals dedicated to him/me.
I vaguely remember chasing some villain through some trees, as well as losing my ability to fly, but that's a little fuzzy. I'm just psyched I could fly for a change.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Fantastical Fabrications of Frantic and Frazzled Faculties
Excerpts from a number of synthetic realities. Although incomplete, the content may be unsettling.
A giant gymnasium with the world's largest Chuck E. Cheese play structure. Only (somehow) shadier. As soon as I walked into the room, a fight broke out, though it was quickly settled. As is the case with most dreams, the details in the room changed spontaneously. Where giant pyramidal gymnastic pads once stood, a climbing structure took its place. But the one thing that captured my attention remained--a climbing pole that reached about thirty to forty feet upwards. At the top of the pole was a platform, from which you could... well... I don't remember exactly what you could do. But it involved zip-lining or something of that sort back down to the ground. I made my way up the post, bit by bit, but as I neared the top, the pole itself slid back down. Now, there weren't any safeguards to this activity, which made a plummeting pole a bit of a problem. But eventually, I made it to the top, and did some fun little thing to get back down. After I did, however, someone fell from the pole and broke his back. No more pole for me.
------------------------
Don't remember much of this one, but what I do remember is that a number of people (including B-Shak and me) were watching some movie in the dark. The next thing I knew, somebody was dead in a pool of blood on the blanket on which we were sitting. (Prepositions. Ouch.) Then the lights were on, and there was blood everywhere. Everybody there had died. Again, I felt strangely proud that I had been in the presence of death. Jordan the Violent rules my subconscious, apparently.
------------------------
It's not even halfway through June yet, and already the class-skipping panic dreams have begun. Apparently, though I had attended my other classes (unnamed, of course), I had skipped two weeks to a month of Creativity (which looked very unlike the Creativity I know). This was bad. Especially since I was supposed to be assisting that whole time. Oops. And to make matters worse, I was sitting at a table far from the board with a bunch of people who couldn't care less. After Perini looked, my way, I made a show of taking notes, completely lost without context. So begin the college dreams for the summer...
------------------------
You know how, in your dreams, you can remember something happening in the recent past without ever having dreamed it? Well, it definitely sucks when that "something" is something you'd rather not have done. Well, I kinda took the cake with that one. (A little "inapropro," to use a Cornerstone word.)
I woke up, wrapped in the comforter of a strange bed. I rolled over to see a girl standing near the bed, still dressed in her nightclothes. Crap. I knew instantly -- I had, just the night before, rolled in the hay with her. Regret replaced the blood in my veins. We chatted, though I don't remember what about. She was like 16. And if things weren't bad enough, we were at her family's house. Which meant chatting with the parents, too. I experienced the extreme discomfort of knowing I had just committed a colossal mistake, while simultaneously needing to not say that to the present party. Strangely, the parents were pleased with the turn of events. Later, I asked her about my one last shred of resistance to total guilt. "How long ago did your dad drug me?" Her response affirmed that I had indeed been drugged. Way to go subconscious. You have succeeded in establishing my semi-innocence, as well as devising an explanation for my lack of memory of the event. Drugged by a dad so I would sleep with his daughter. Not exactly what lulls me to sleep at night. We'll see what comes next.
------------------------
I'll have to remember more details from now on, morbid as they might be.
A giant gymnasium with the world's largest Chuck E. Cheese play structure. Only (somehow) shadier. As soon as I walked into the room, a fight broke out, though it was quickly settled. As is the case with most dreams, the details in the room changed spontaneously. Where giant pyramidal gymnastic pads once stood, a climbing structure took its place. But the one thing that captured my attention remained--a climbing pole that reached about thirty to forty feet upwards. At the top of the pole was a platform, from which you could... well... I don't remember exactly what you could do. But it involved zip-lining or something of that sort back down to the ground. I made my way up the post, bit by bit, but as I neared the top, the pole itself slid back down. Now, there weren't any safeguards to this activity, which made a plummeting pole a bit of a problem. But eventually, I made it to the top, and did some fun little thing to get back down. After I did, however, someone fell from the pole and broke his back. No more pole for me.
------------------------
Don't remember much of this one, but what I do remember is that a number of people (including B-Shak and me) were watching some movie in the dark. The next thing I knew, somebody was dead in a pool of blood on the blanket on which we were sitting. (Prepositions. Ouch.) Then the lights were on, and there was blood everywhere. Everybody there had died. Again, I felt strangely proud that I had been in the presence of death. Jordan the Violent rules my subconscious, apparently.
------------------------
It's not even halfway through June yet, and already the class-skipping panic dreams have begun. Apparently, though I had attended my other classes (unnamed, of course), I had skipped two weeks to a month of Creativity (which looked very unlike the Creativity I know). This was bad. Especially since I was supposed to be assisting that whole time. Oops. And to make matters worse, I was sitting at a table far from the board with a bunch of people who couldn't care less. After Perini looked, my way, I made a show of taking notes, completely lost without context. So begin the college dreams for the summer...
------------------------
You know how, in your dreams, you can remember something happening in the recent past without ever having dreamed it? Well, it definitely sucks when that "something" is something you'd rather not have done. Well, I kinda took the cake with that one. (A little "inapropro," to use a Cornerstone word.)
I woke up, wrapped in the comforter of a strange bed. I rolled over to see a girl standing near the bed, still dressed in her nightclothes. Crap. I knew instantly -- I had, just the night before, rolled in the hay with her. Regret replaced the blood in my veins. We chatted, though I don't remember what about. She was like 16. And if things weren't bad enough, we were at her family's house. Which meant chatting with the parents, too. I experienced the extreme discomfort of knowing I had just committed a colossal mistake, while simultaneously needing to not say that to the present party. Strangely, the parents were pleased with the turn of events. Later, I asked her about my one last shred of resistance to total guilt. "How long ago did your dad drug me?" Her response affirmed that I had indeed been drugged. Way to go subconscious. You have succeeded in establishing my semi-innocence, as well as devising an explanation for my lack of memory of the event. Drugged by a dad so I would sleep with his daughter. Not exactly what lulls me to sleep at night. We'll see what comes next.
------------------------
I'll have to remember more details from now on, morbid as they might be.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Fragments of Nonsensical Plots
It's like channel-flipping! Some caught my attention more than others. This is what happens when you wait too long.
*****
I was talking with Seth, a little kid from my church. I don't remember exactly what was going on, but I do remember that I was able to build the perfect set of abs by doing push-ups, somehow.
*****
I was with my family when a tornado touched down. Of course, I decided to bolt for what was supposed to be the basement. It's funny how you see places in your dreams that are supposed to be from real life, except they look nothing like the real thing. Apparently my house had a cellar rather than a normal basement. I hid in a little corner, waiting for the tornado to pass. It didn't take long, though, for my subconscious to decide that the tornado was no longer a threat. It was much more important to watch my 6'5" cousin climb up a wall Mission Impossible style as my grandparents cheered him on.
*****
Dreams put together facts in the oddest ways. My brother and I were, for some reason, on some sort of trip with Phil Keith, Cornerstone's athletic trainer. At a stop in the middle of our journey to some important event, Phil got a call. A GRTS van had gotten in an accident while carrying 12 students/faculty members. One of the passengers, Katy Beachy (who is neither a seminary student nor a friend of mine--in all actuality, I only know her name), was in critical condition. With her life hanging on the line, they decided the best thing to do was to get the athletic trainer for life-saving medical treatment. As he headed back (apparently with no vehicle), he allowed me to use his motorcycle to get to my incredibly important meeting (though I still have no idea what it was about). I think my subconscious needs to learn some common sense. If it's going break the laws of physics and logic, it could at least let me fly for once.
*****
Random campground scene
*****
My friend Nate and I were at Best Buy. We had just decided that we were going to pool our money to buy an XBox 360, because our first one had broken. We were never able to buy it.
*****
Back to the tornado. Different tornado. My house again. Wrong house, again. My brother, sister, mother, and I were staring out the window at the coming storm. I noticed an odd patch of cloudless, green sky. I instantly knew that that must indicate a tornado, so I bolted downstairs. This introduces another dream law.
Dream Law #2: When the dreamer knows that something will happen, it will happen. This is called the Cause & Effect law when partnered with Law #1 (previously mentioned). Basically, any time a thought enters the dreamer's mind, that thought becomes a cause which produces whatever the thought visualized (the effect). This usually happens when a possibility would be harmful to the user.
Well, once I got downstairs, I realized I needed to help my family downstairs. So I rushed back upstairs to find that they were completely capable of walking downstairs themselves. And down we went. We huddled in our respective corners as we watched the tornado touch down and pass us by. Just when we thought we were safe, the main tornado shot out a second tornado toward our house (which was completely open at the back, meaning we were exposed to the tornado--yet another lapse in logic). It almost sucked our dog in, but I grabbed her by the leg and pulled her to me as a helicopter was dragged into the vortex.
After the tornado passed, we discovered that the whole first floor of our house was wiped out. This meant that we had to seek food and shelter elsewhere (more dream logic). So out we went. Apparently, Stevens had also been affected by the tornado and was in search of shelter. Finally, we arrived at the shelter, which was slightly reminiscent of the Super Dome after Katrina.
*****
Woah, double rainbow all the way! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQSNhk5ICTI There were three, four, eight, then seventeen rainbows in the sky. As we all stood in wonder, we noticed that the actual rainbows were but ten feet away from the bridge on which we were standing. As we stared in awe at the rainbow, it dematerialized before our eyes. It turned into a sort of metal structure shaped somewhat like chicken wire. Then it crumbled. It was pretty trippy.
*****
Lebron James had just won the championship, which made our little knick-knack even more valuable. It was a guitar case autographed by the King himself. Inside it was a French Horn (???) used by Lebron James when he was a kid. Also inside the case was a Consumers Energy bill and some other papers.
*****
It was a an odd baseball game. I wasn't very good at baseball. But the bases were loaded and I was up. I knew I was up because I batted right after the 70-year-old woman, who was right after the 70-year-old man. They were both better than me. I spent the next five to ten minutes looking for the right bat. The strange thing was that every bat was curved, bent, or twisted in odd ways. I settled for a bat that had a pretty significant curve. I never got to bat, though.
*****
Too bad these are just fragments. They all would have been so... boring.
*****
I was talking with Seth, a little kid from my church. I don't remember exactly what was going on, but I do remember that I was able to build the perfect set of abs by doing push-ups, somehow.
*****
I was with my family when a tornado touched down. Of course, I decided to bolt for what was supposed to be the basement. It's funny how you see places in your dreams that are supposed to be from real life, except they look nothing like the real thing. Apparently my house had a cellar rather than a normal basement. I hid in a little corner, waiting for the tornado to pass. It didn't take long, though, for my subconscious to decide that the tornado was no longer a threat. It was much more important to watch my 6'5" cousin climb up a wall Mission Impossible style as my grandparents cheered him on.
*****
Dreams put together facts in the oddest ways. My brother and I were, for some reason, on some sort of trip with Phil Keith, Cornerstone's athletic trainer. At a stop in the middle of our journey to some important event, Phil got a call. A GRTS van had gotten in an accident while carrying 12 students/faculty members. One of the passengers, Katy Beachy (who is neither a seminary student nor a friend of mine--in all actuality, I only know her name), was in critical condition. With her life hanging on the line, they decided the best thing to do was to get the athletic trainer for life-saving medical treatment. As he headed back (apparently with no vehicle), he allowed me to use his motorcycle to get to my incredibly important meeting (though I still have no idea what it was about). I think my subconscious needs to learn some common sense. If it's going break the laws of physics and logic, it could at least let me fly for once.
*****
Random campground scene
*****
My friend Nate and I were at Best Buy. We had just decided that we were going to pool our money to buy an XBox 360, because our first one had broken. We were never able to buy it.
*****
Back to the tornado. Different tornado. My house again. Wrong house, again. My brother, sister, mother, and I were staring out the window at the coming storm. I noticed an odd patch of cloudless, green sky. I instantly knew that that must indicate a tornado, so I bolted downstairs. This introduces another dream law.
Dream Law #2: When the dreamer knows that something will happen, it will happen. This is called the Cause & Effect law when partnered with Law #1 (previously mentioned). Basically, any time a thought enters the dreamer's mind, that thought becomes a cause which produces whatever the thought visualized (the effect). This usually happens when a possibility would be harmful to the user.
Well, once I got downstairs, I realized I needed to help my family downstairs. So I rushed back upstairs to find that they were completely capable of walking downstairs themselves. And down we went. We huddled in our respective corners as we watched the tornado touch down and pass us by. Just when we thought we were safe, the main tornado shot out a second tornado toward our house (which was completely open at the back, meaning we were exposed to the tornado--yet another lapse in logic). It almost sucked our dog in, but I grabbed her by the leg and pulled her to me as a helicopter was dragged into the vortex.
After the tornado passed, we discovered that the whole first floor of our house was wiped out. This meant that we had to seek food and shelter elsewhere (more dream logic). So out we went. Apparently, Stevens had also been affected by the tornado and was in search of shelter. Finally, we arrived at the shelter, which was slightly reminiscent of the Super Dome after Katrina.
*****
Woah, double rainbow all the way! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQSNhk5ICTI There were three, four, eight, then seventeen rainbows in the sky. As we all stood in wonder, we noticed that the actual rainbows were but ten feet away from the bridge on which we were standing. As we stared in awe at the rainbow, it dematerialized before our eyes. It turned into a sort of metal structure shaped somewhat like chicken wire. Then it crumbled. It was pretty trippy.
*****
Lebron James had just won the championship, which made our little knick-knack even more valuable. It was a guitar case autographed by the King himself. Inside it was a French Horn (???) used by Lebron James when he was a kid. Also inside the case was a Consumers Energy bill and some other papers.
*****
It was a an odd baseball game. I wasn't very good at baseball. But the bases were loaded and I was up. I knew I was up because I batted right after the 70-year-old woman, who was right after the 70-year-old man. They were both better than me. I spent the next five to ten minutes looking for the right bat. The strange thing was that every bat was curved, bent, or twisted in odd ways. I settled for a bat that had a pretty significant curve. I never got to bat, though.
*****
Too bad these are just fragments. They all would have been so... boring.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Mountains, Mercenaries, and Maniacs
I was all by myself on a mountain in the middle of nowhere. Then I heard some disturbing news. What it was, I don't remember. It was something along the lines of "All flights are canceled from now on." However cloudy the issue was, the complication it caused me was crystal clear: I was stranded on the mountain. Somewhere in the back of my mind I heard a voice (either from the past or present) inform me rather ominously that no one had ever survived that mountain without whatever it was that I lost. I was likely going to die.
But I decided to be an exception. I was going to make it down the mountain and live. So I walked to the edge of the cliff that represented the quickest escape and began to rappel down the face of the cliff. Of course, this was done with gear that randomly materialized. My rappelling technique (though it somehow worked) was definitely backwards... literally. I faced away from the face of the cliff and hopped down like some kind of moon bunny. It worked.
At the bottom of the cliff was a stream about six or seven feet wide. The voice in my head spoke again, reminding me that the most common cause of death on this mountain was hypothermia due to the harsh cold. Therefore, I had to do my best not to get wet. I prepared myself, sprinted, and leaped over the narrow band of water. It wasn't too far a jump, but just as I reached the other side the edge crumbled away in the current. I landed on the edge of the stream off-balanced and my dream-legs kicked in. Moving at a snail's pace, my lethargic efforts managed to propel me, completely dry, onto the other edge of the stream. Yet another obstacle overcome.
My next thought was that there shouldn't be anyone else on the mountain (because of the earlier dilemma). Dream law states that when a dreamer thinks that something could not happen, it will happen. I heard the sound of other men talking. I knew that since no law-abiding person would be on the mountain any more (why I thought this, I'm not sure ), I thought that theses must be mercenaries and outlaws. I was wrong.
Then things took an unusual turn. Instead of being greeted by mercenaries and outlaws, I was met by odd creatures with spears (I don't remember if they were human, but they appeared to sentient). As would be expected of large alien bipeds, they attacked me with their giant spears. Possessed by some Bourne-like martial arts skill, I snatched a spear from one of them and fought the group off.
From there, my dream jumped ahead to some building, where I was in some ventilation ducts with some unknown person, about to confront some evil overlord. The next thing I remember is attacking one of his minions, a little, flower-like thing that appeared to be made of some sort of foam. I had the distinct feeling that this overlord was not as powerful as I had been led to believe.
...and then I woke up. I never reached the bottom of the mountain, never figured out why I was in such peril, and never discovered the scheme of the maniacal genius. A rather anticlimactic to an especially odd dream. I feel my subconscious could do better.
But I decided to be an exception. I was going to make it down the mountain and live. So I walked to the edge of the cliff that represented the quickest escape and began to rappel down the face of the cliff. Of course, this was done with gear that randomly materialized. My rappelling technique (though it somehow worked) was definitely backwards... literally. I faced away from the face of the cliff and hopped down like some kind of moon bunny. It worked.
At the bottom of the cliff was a stream about six or seven feet wide. The voice in my head spoke again, reminding me that the most common cause of death on this mountain was hypothermia due to the harsh cold. Therefore, I had to do my best not to get wet. I prepared myself, sprinted, and leaped over the narrow band of water. It wasn't too far a jump, but just as I reached the other side the edge crumbled away in the current. I landed on the edge of the stream off-balanced and my dream-legs kicked in. Moving at a snail's pace, my lethargic efforts managed to propel me, completely dry, onto the other edge of the stream. Yet another obstacle overcome.
My next thought was that there shouldn't be anyone else on the mountain (because of the earlier dilemma). Dream law states that when a dreamer thinks that something could not happen, it will happen. I heard the sound of other men talking. I knew that since no law-abiding person would be on the mountain any more (why I thought this, I'm not sure ), I thought that theses must be mercenaries and outlaws. I was wrong.
Then things took an unusual turn. Instead of being greeted by mercenaries and outlaws, I was met by odd creatures with spears (I don't remember if they were human, but they appeared to sentient). As would be expected of large alien bipeds, they attacked me with their giant spears. Possessed by some Bourne-like martial arts skill, I snatched a spear from one of them and fought the group off.
From there, my dream jumped ahead to some building, where I was in some ventilation ducts with some unknown person, about to confront some evil overlord. The next thing I remember is attacking one of his minions, a little, flower-like thing that appeared to be made of some sort of foam. I had the distinct feeling that this overlord was not as powerful as I had been led to believe.
...and then I woke up. I never reached the bottom of the mountain, never figured out why I was in such peril, and never discovered the scheme of the maniacal genius. A rather anticlimactic to an especially odd dream. I feel my subconscious could do better.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Z12 - Alligator Sam
I was with all the Zs once again. We were having a great time, although we were starting to get on each other's nerves (Ben shot an arrow at Josiah through a blow gun). We were laying around on some hill, when Yolanda decided it was time to go. (Where we were going, I don't know. They never tell you these things in dreams.) We hopped in our vehicle (I think it was a Jeep) and starting driving away as I looked at the beach we were leaving. We were driving along a dirt road, and ahead there was this dip that had collected a fair amount of water. (This was definitely a cameo by the same water-filled dip in Bourne Identity.) Well, as we were driving toward it, I noticed what appeared to be a stick floating in the water. However, I thought it looked suspiciously like an alligator ridge. (This was a direct violation of Dreaming Rule #1: Never imagine. The moment you imagine that something could happen, it happens.) Of course, we drove through the water with a little bit of a BUMP. After we passed, I looked out the back window, and sure enough, an angry alligator had risen out of the water. This, however, was no ordinary alligator. It was a dream alligator. It was about 10-12 feet long and 3-4 feet wide. It had a massive snout and a jaw that could crush a person in an instant. But the worst part was that it was freaking fast. After we passed his water hole, the alligator sped after us like a jackrabbit. No one else seemed alarmed, for some reason. But of course, no else had seen it yet. But soon, they did, and started yelling at Yolanda to drive faster. She floored it, but it was right on our tail. Of course, as often happens in dreams, complications came immediately. The path started veering right and left, and Yolanda tried her best to keep the Jeep on course, but it was too much for her - she flew off the path. More dream logic - there was another shore directly in front of us. So, with the alligator in hot pursuit, we careened over the beach and into the water (which, suspiciously, was immediately deep). The alligator followed us into the water. The last thing I remember is thinking that we were screwed either way, because I had seen the Mythbusters where they tested this. We were either going to drown or be eaten...
...and then I woke up. It turns out there was no alligator, no water, no Jeep, and no Zs (unfortunately). I must have been scared out of my pants, because my heart was beating erratically. It was beating well above its normal rate, and every time it did it hurt from the pressure. This lasted for at least five minutes while I tried to regain control of my breathing and heart rate. Let's do it again...
...and then I woke up. It turns out there was no alligator, no water, no Jeep, and no Zs (unfortunately). I must have been scared out of my pants, because my heart was beating erratically. It was beating well above its normal rate, and every time it did it hurt from the pressure. This lasted for at least five minutes while I tried to regain control of my breathing and heart rate. Let's do it again...
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